Time Genius: The Solution to Overwhelm with Marie Forleo

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

On this episode of The resetter podcast, I am bringing you my new friend Marie Forleo. Okay, love this woman love everything she stands for I love her heart. I love her vision. And she has for many years been teaching entrepreneurs how to build online businesses. And she’s now solved a major problem for us all. And that is how to navigate the amount of work that has been piled on our brains. Now, so many of you hopefully, as you’ve been listening to me, you know that I am very concerned about what’s happening to women after 40. Because our brains cannot focus we struggled to hold on to information. And so much of that is because we lose these neuro chemicals that have been supporting us. And Marie has solved the flippin problem, the time problem. And so in this interview, you’re gonna hear that there’s two ways to approach time, there’s way a way of approaching it from a stress state. I’ve been a victim of that Maria has been a victim of that you may be a victim of that, or there is the time genius way. And she dove really deep into neuroscience into working habits. She interviewed tons of experts, and she came up with a formula that is profound, and she’s going to walk you through that formula. There are five steps to becoming a time genius. And Marie so eloquently maps this out for us. So if you’re not familiar with Marie, she is a New York Times bestselling author, she wrote a book called Everything is figured out double. And she just figured out time for us. She also started as CEO and founder of B School, a business school that is specific for helping entrepreneurs get up and going and now she has solved the overwhelming time problem. This episode is for any of you that are feeling overwhelmed any of you that are shaming yourself for taking time off, any of you like me, who are potentially addicted to what you do, and you don’t know how to get off the hamster wheel. Maria solve that for us. So listen all the way through this was there’s so many nuggets, we will absolutely leave a link for her time genius course if you resonate with that you want to jump in we’ll leave a link in the show notes. But most importantly, listen very carefully to what she has to share, because she has solved a major challenge for both men and women. But especially for the menopausal brain. Marie Forleo. Here you all go. I cannot wait to see how this changed your changes your life. Enjoy. Welcome to the resetter podcast. This podcast is all about empowering you to believe in yourself again. If you have a passion for learning, if you’re looking to be in control of your health and take your power back. This is the podcast for you. So okay, Marie, first, I have to tell you, welcome to my podcast. I feel like I’m inviting you into my home. That’s how much I love my podcast. Well, first of all,

Marie Forleo  

thank you for inviting me into your home, your podcast home, I have been so excited for this conversation. We’ve been texting back and forth, but I was literally like doing cartwheels this morning. Like I get to talk to Maddie did I?

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Yes, Agreed. Agreed. And just to fill everybody in, I see everything in life through a hormonal lens. So when you and I sat in New York and you told me your story about like how you had to come up with better time management skills because your health had hit a wall. I was like, oh my god, I mean, I I’m so sorry for your story. I’m so excited. You created something for all of us. And I what I really want my following to hear as as you’re listening to this is you’ve created something magical for women over 40 So can we can we start with your story and how you came up with time genius in the first place?

Marie Forleo  

Oh, yeah. So you know, as a business owner and entrepreneur, someone is super passionate about life like I’ve been doing this for like 22 years. And it was probably like three or four years ago Monday that I hit a friggin wall. I mean big time. So I was used to being the person who could go from morning until night. I can take on anything. I have all the responsibility. I’m responsible for all these people’s livelihoods. I take care of everyone in my family, go go go, go go and that’s all I knew of myself. But all of a sudden, things started changing. Meaning I found myself feeling ache sauced it I found myself starting to experience anxiety and depression waking up in the morning and I’ve never had this happen in my life, where the first thought that would enter my mind. The moment my eyes popped open was some version of it. can’t do this anymore. Yeah, I want to run away from my life. Like I don’t. And it I had so much shame around that because I had built this entire identity like, you know, for anyone who has any sort of semblance of a public life, or even if you don’t, if you’re just known in your family or your community as the one who run shit and takes care of things, you know what I mean? And all of a sudden, you don’t want to be you anymore. And so I’ve really started questioning things like I’m a person who has ADHD. And so my normal tips and tricks, my eating well, my working out my meditation, my journaling, all of the things that we’re told that we’re supposed to do that would help, anxiety, depression, exhaustion, none of those were working. And so

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

no more to dues, they’re more to dues correct. And so

Marie Forleo  

I started really feeling broken. I started feeling panicked. I started feeling like I was having I was like, where did I go? What is wrong with me? I can’t keep up anymore. I don’t have my passion. I don’t have my energy. I’m cranky, I’m miserable. Like, who am I? And it felt honestly, Mindy, there was so much shame, because I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that. But I felt like I was trying to keep up this facade. But inside it was crumbling. And so I tried to push past tried to patch until it got to a point. Yeah, please, please, please.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

And I say one thing on that because I want I want women, one of my missions in life is for women to feel heard. And what I want to acknowledge is that many of the women listening to this podcast have been there, they and the shame is real. And when we get exhausted, we turn on ourselves. We don’t like blame everybody around us, we actually blame ourselves. So I just wanted to make sure that if you’re listening to this, and you’re hearing this, this is every every woman’s plight, because we’re trying to do too many things. And we’re not doing it in accordance to our hormones. So thank you for being so transparent about that. Yeah.

Marie Forleo  

And I didn’t know who I could talk to. And so I kept trying to, you know, go beyond and say, Oh, I can get through this, I can persist because that’s what I’ve done my whole life until my body started shutting down until I started having all this pain, which I’d never had before. Until I found out that I had these tumors growing inside of me, including one the size of a football outside of my uterus, or excuse me, a grapefruit, not a football different, but still big, and still big, still big and still like What the eff is going on. And so, long story short, turns out, I had to have an urgent hysterectomy to get those tumors out to make the pain stop because it was pushing against all my other internal organs. I subsequently got a bunch of blood tests done, the doctor who interpreted my Dutch tests at Murray, it is a miracle that you’re able to even get up every day. That’s the level to which my exhaustion and my internal body was just crumbling on itself. And so it was in that moment that I started to really it was actually after my recovery from my hysterectomy, where I had six weeks off, which I have never taken in my life. Ironically, I had started working on a quote unquote, time management productivity program, because my entire life I’ve been obsessed with how to squeeze the most juice out of life, how to get the most done, but also still be joyful, right? I’m a very fun and playful person. So I started this project. And then when everything crumbled around me, and including my own mental and physical health, I was like, oh, I need to heal myself. I started to really recognize how punishing I was to me, and what a dysfunctional relationship I had with time. And I was suspect I was like, you know, I don’t know if this is just me. So I wound up actually sending an email to my audience. And it was all about, hey, I’m going through something anyone else really? Mindy within like three days, we had, I think over 7000 responses, watch. And it wasn’t just like one word responses. I mean, like many novellas, and the pain that my audience was experiencing many of them 30s 40s 50s 60s going through the same kind of things. I said, I need to help I need to create something I need to understand all of the science, all of the behavioral research, the neuroscience, the neurobiology and also the common sense practices around time management, energy management, brain and body management, and create something so that I can move into this next chapter of my life, feeling my best, finding my passion, not punishing myself and not adhering to this 24/7 Hustle culture and a lot of these toxic ideas that frankly, I was brought up in. Yes,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

yes. I have so much to say on that. Just so everybody knows, remind me how old you are. I am 4747. Okay, so when I look at all of that through the hormonal lens, I call it your neuro chemical armor. As estrogen and progesterone are going down. You’re also losing serotonin, dopamine, acetylcholine, GABA, BDNF, oxytocin, you lose, you start to see the depletion Have 10 neuro chemicals. So after 40, you can’t push it in the same way. And I just want again, I want women to feel heard and understand this, because what we’re doing is in order to keep up with the patriarch is that we’re pushing pushing harder. And that’s where we’re seeing the breast cancers and the ovarian cancers and the Alzheimer’s and the dementia. So we need more rest and recovery. I want to say, thank God, the universe gave that that situation to you. Yes. Because you could come up with a solution for all of us. Oh, my gosh, talk to me about what you found. So really,

Marie Forleo  

the first thing that I discovered was, for me, I really saw it as two different worlds. And I like to see things very visually, that’s how I’ve created my whole life. And what I found was there’s really two different paradigms, the world of time, stress, which is the world that most of us were brought up in. It’s the world that most of us live in. And we don’t even realize there’s another option. So let me just paint the world of time stress really fast. For most of us. It’s when your phone is ringing and dinging all day long. You wake up in the morning, already feeling behind, you probably look at your phone, you scroll, email, or social or slack, and you’re already thinking, Oh, my god, how am I going to get through this, you go all day long, always feeling like no matter how hard you work, or how many hours you put in, it is never enough. If you give yourself a moment of break, which you probably don’t, because you think you should be doing something more productive, you actually feel like you’re again, falling behind. At the end of the day, you’re exhausted, you probably collapse on the couch, you eat crap, you fill your body with shit that you know is not the most nutritious for you. And then you feel angry, you feel resentful, and you wake up and you do the whole cycle all over again. Amen,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

that I am. I’m familiar with that life, right. And

Marie Forleo  

also, too, it’s like there’s more things on your plate, your calendar is constantly packed. If you’re spending time with your family or your friends, there’s some little dialog in the back that says you should be doing something more productive. And by the way, when you’re working, you feel totally guilty, that you’re not taking more downtime, or that you’re not with your family or that you’re not doing something free. So it is this torture chamber that you can’t get out of. And then if you go on social media, because you want to feel inspired or motivated. All people tell you is you’ll sleep on your debt. And if you’re not hustling hard enough, you don’t want it bad enough. And you just feel like a loser and like you want to check out and you probably like me, like can I just disappear like Mindy, that’s what I was saying to myself. And I’ve never said that before in my life. So that’s the world of time stress. Most people don’t know there’s another option. Yep, please. Can.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Yeah, I want to comment on that. Because again, you are talking right now for people listening. You’re dealing with too high performing women like we we want to do everything that we possibly can. And we are an incredible time in history, where we can as a woman do everything we possibly want to do. Yes. Like every single thing you just said, about your with your family, you feel like you should be at work. When you’re at work, you feel like you should be resting with your family. And when you go to socials, you feel like you’re not good enough. Bingo, you just described my brain. And I really, again, want women if they heard that, and they resonated with that to know they are not alone. And that’s the paradigm that has to break.

Marie Forleo  

Yes. So that’s the world of time stress, right? And here’s the thing, if you are feeling constantly exhausted, constantly overwhelmed, like you can’t focus like nothing you do is ever good enough. No matter how many hours you put in, you’re always behind. I just want to let you know it is not your fault. You are not broken, you are not weak, you are not too old. You are actually subscribe to what I believe is an old, outdated, toxic paradigm that will destroy us emotionally, physically, financially, in every way. Now, let’s talk about

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

I want to say one thing on that. Yeah. Because because we have worked as women, and we have both men and women that listen to this podcast. But again, we have worked so hard to get to be in alignment with the patriarch, and the patriarch. Again, it’s just the power. It’s not men, there’s some so many supportive, amazing men out there. It’s just the structure of our society is really fit more for a male body than a female body. So I just, I just had to point that out. Yes.

Marie Forleo  

And everything that we’ll talk about, by the way, all of the strategies that we’ll share in terms of how do we reimagine our relationship with time, therefore our life, have no ruling and gender, it doesn’t matter how you identify, you’ll be able to benefit from this. Yeah. So now let’s look to another world. Time genius. This is the world where you actually wake up feeling spaciousness, you’re very clear on what you should be working on first and second. And third, you don’t have a mile long to do list because you’re not creating that type of game for yourself to lose. When you’re with your family or you’re resting or you’re playing. You don’t feel guilt. When you’re working. You’re highly focused. And you know how to modulate to take care of your mind your body The end. So you’re getting your most important projects done at this stage and season of your life. And you feel very, very comfortable saying yes and no, because you are ultra clear on what matters most to you, you don’t have your phone on 24/7. It’s not ringing dinging or interrupting you, you don’t have distractions as much, because you’ve set yourself up and you’ve set your life up to not let them interrupt you. You have a set of tools in your toolkit, so that when life happens and throws you a ship sandwich, which it does for all of us, you have the emotional and psychological and physical reserves to be able to navigate. You understand when you’re in what we call in time genius, the trenches, which is when you have such a huge event that happens in your life, or your family’s life in illness, a loss a death or grief that you give yourself the space and grace that you need to not go at 120 miles an hour like you think you should have when you’re adhering to the paradigm of time stress. So in the world of being a time genius, you really know that there is always time for what’s most important. And you’re in the driver’s seat. You feel so much more control. And you feel so much more possibility because again, you’re not subscribing to this old, toxic dated world that is going to wind up killing all of us. Agreed

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

agreed agreed on that last statement very much agree with that. Okay, when I hear you paint that picture, yes, it literally sounds too good to be true. And then my brain goes, but I know you I know you and present something that was to go through. So how long does it take you to go from time stress to time genius.

Marie Forleo  

Here’s what’s so cool. And I’m glad that you said that. It is not a one time choice. But here’s what’s awesome. Being a time genius. Not only is it a shift in your paradigm, but it’s a practice. So it’s not a one time event, it’s something that we keep investing in, first of all, because we are living in a world that is immersed in time stress. So it’s natural, right as creatures who have mirror neurons, and we’re surrounded by people who are stressed out all the time, the seduction is there, the siren call is there, our phones are there. So being in the time genius zone is like a muscle that you can build up, you wouldn’t go to the gym once right and go like, Oh, I’m going to work out today. And I never have to work out again, the time genius zone is something that we continue to play with, and cultivate and evolve as we evolve through the different stages and seasons of our life. So there’s a set of principles which we’ll talk through, there’s tactics and strategies. But here’s the thing that I really loved about how I created this because my own struggle with like earlier versions of time management systems and stuff is they all felt very rigid. So MIDI, I call myself a multi passionate entrepreneur, right, I have ADHD, I’m all over the place in terms of my passions, my energy, so I needed to create something that was flexible, that was modulated so that people could dip in and dip out and use only a handful of strategies that they need right now. It’s not a system where it’s like, you must do this every step or you’re gonna fail. No, there’s no failing. We don’t know that. That’s not productive. And it’s not realistic with life. So we’ll get into the first thing, but I will say step number one of becoming a time genius. It’s not about your planner. It’s not about a new app, it’s actually not about any external strategies. Becoming a time genius. First and foremost is an inside job. What do I mean by that? We have to start investigating our own narratives, stories, beliefs, that we tell ourselves about ourself and our relationship with time. And I’m gonna pause there because I know you have things to either ask. Yeah, so

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

yeah, thank you. I have so many thoughts. You know, it’s interesting that you said that last bit, because I was talking to a friend. And I was saying how where I am in my career now, it feels like things are coming much easier to me like things like that. Whereas before, for 25 years, I worked so hard to just make a little step forward. And so it’s really awkward for me to have things come easy. And what she said to me as well. That’s what you get to work on. That’s your issue. And when she said it to me, I was like, Really, that’s my issue. That’s not the way it goes. So talk a little bit about you know, what do you do when you make this first step and decision to become a time genius? It’s like, like you said, you’re gonna take little, you know, it’s got to practice it over and over again. But I can tell you the minute I stopped working, all the alarm bells go off in my head. Yeah. Oh, my limiting beliefs of I’m lazy. I’m not never gonna come. They just scream at me.

Marie Forleo  

Let me ask you this right now. So this is for all my high achieving humans out there. Don’t you have some semblance of a little belief that if you slow down, or if you take a break, that you’re going to lose everything you’ve worked so hard for? Yes, right. The answer is Ye yes. So we’re terrified of losing everything that we’ve built up because like you when you put decades into something, and then your body starts breaking down, or you’re like, I’m not able to work at the same pace anymore, all of the fear comes up. So here’s what I know, because I am actually a former Nike elite dance athlete. And I do a lot of studying when it comes to physical fitness. I was a trainer, I was all that stuff. And here’s what I know to be true from that world. You can actually overtrain I was reading this great article, I remember I was doing a talk in London, and I picked up this magazine, and it was all about this MMA fighter who was at the top of his game, like winning, crushing, winning, crushing, and then all of a sudden, all of a sudden, he stopped. And he was like, I gotta train harder, I got to train harder, I got to train harder. And a really smart trainer said, No, you don’t, you actually have to train less based on where you’ve gotten to. If you keep trying to push yourself, you’re going to injure yourself and be out of the game completely, you need a whole new paradigm, which actually includes more rest and recovery. That’s what we used to teach. It totally makes sense, but so much sense. Let’s go into our beliefs a little bit. So how many of us believe that there’s never, there’s never enough time, I never have enough time to get it all done. Right? You want to know one of my biggest self limiting and self creating self fulfilling prophecies that kept me in times stress. Let me paint this picture for you real fast. So Josh, my partner, we’ve been together for over 20 years. Oftentimes, after work, he asked me, Hey, Marie, how you doing? Like, how’s work today? How you feeling? Mindy for years, you want to know what my response was some version of, Oh, my God, I’m so overwhelmed. I’ve got a Marie TV show coming up, I have all this content to create, we have to hire new creators, a few new programmers, you know, if I can just get through the next three months, then I’ll be able to breathe. And I would say that to him over and over and over again, until one time he was asked me, he said, You know, I really want to go away, let’s do a long weekend. I was like, Joshy, I can’t do it. I’m so overwhelmed. I got this shoe coming up, I have all this content to create it. If you could just give me a few weeks, then space will really open up. You Nobody said to me, Marie, he said, Mindy, he said to me, you’ve been saying that for the past 10 years. And in that moment, I recognized that my song was I’m so overwhelmed. I’m so overwhelmed. I’m so overwhelmed. I’m so overwhelmed. And then I’ll tell you how I broke it. And this gives people a clue, Lee’s first technique to how you can start entering the world of time genius. And being a time genius on your own terms. I remember one day I was on my computer in my kitchen, and I started hearing that same phrase like oh my god, I have so many emails, I’m so overwhelmed. And I swear to you Monday, it was like this out of body experience happened, I paused. And this little three word phrase appeared in my mental theater. I didn’t try and think it up. I feel like it was a gift from the Divine or my higher self. And it stopped me in my tracks. Here’s what the phrase was. I don’t do overwhelm forward. I don’t do overwhelm. And I was like, I don’t do overwhelm. What are you talking about? And all of a sudden, I felt like my shoulders relaxed. This huge weight was lifted off of me. And I realized how ridiculous and repetitive and idiotic it was that for years, I’ve been telling myself how overwhelmed I was. And from that moment forward, I started saying, I don’t do overwhelm anymore. And here’s what that started to do. So I started to rewire my own brain, you know, whatever we say to ourselves repeatedly and with emotion, it becomes our reality. It’s not woowoo it’s not science fiction. It’s science facts. So that’s hebbs Law, neurons that fire together, wire together, right? We guys that emotion. And here’s what’s really interesting about the I don’t do phrase, it leverages this really cool linguistic tool that hardly anybody knows about in terms of changing our behavior and helps us speed it up and get out of limiting beliefs faster. So this is based on research done by Dr. Vanessa Patrick, who found when we humans are framing a refusal using the words I don’t, we are so much more likely to be successful in that behavior change versus using a word like no or I can’t. So in fact, let’s say we’re saying, I don’t eat chocolate cake versus no, versus I can’t. When you say I don’t you are eight times more likely to be successful in that behavior. Yes. It’s like, wow, I think it’s three times more likely than No, and yet eight times more likely than I can’t. So why is that? When we use the words, I can’t, somewhere inside of us. We feel like we’re a victim. We feel like we’re powerless, and that there’s an external authority that is controlling our lives. And anytime any of us are in any type of connection to a victim meet position, we’re disempowered. But when we use a word like I don’t, all of a sudden it is a statement of our identity. We’re setting last standard, right? So for me, I repeated that mantra for probably two for three months, and it got to the point where it started changing my behavior, I don’t do overwhelm led to me not filling up my calendar, not saying yes to invitations unless they were a full body. Yes, it even led to me not checking my email in the middle of the day, which was definitely not the best use of my time or attention. Now, I want to say something. My addiction was to overwhelm that became part of my identity as an entrepreneur, right? It’s like, I’m always around the boys overwhelmed. People listening might be like, Well, I don’t do overwhelmed like you do, Marie, can this still help me? I told this to a writer friend of mine who said, Marie, you know what, my thing is not overwhelmed. You know what my thing is? Guilt. I have a kid, and I am constantly feeling so guilty that I don’t spend enough time with my child. Even though in reality, I spend tons of time with her. I said, Good. Your I don’t do statement is I don’t do guilt, I want you to say it to yourself inside and out out loud and in your head on repeat with emotion with intensity, and really take that new stance within, I think it was about two weeks, it completely changed her life. So for anyone listening right now, if it’s procrastination, if it’s perfectionism, if it’s overwhelm, if it’s people pleasing, right, and filling up your calendar, morning, noon, and night, make your own, I don’t do blank statement, because it is scientifically proven to help you shift that behavior and to start to see your way and feel your way and behavior way into a new paradigm.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

That is brilliant. You know, when my kids were little, they’re now 23 and 21. They used to say Don’t say no, because whatever no comes after that. All the kid hears is though, after that. So like if you know, and so your brain is really tricky with language. That’s my point. And I can tell you in just working with so many women that we’ve taken on so many emotions and and sabotaging ourselves to and we’re not even aware, but we can’t once we become aware, we can’t undo these neurons that have been firing together for so long. So I’m going to try that. Oh,

Marie Forleo  

yeah, just pick one. Like, why word? Like what’s the thing that you’re emotionally addicted to? That you know, Adickes? You the time stress? Is it getting back to people instantly? Who text you? Is it waking up and looking at your phone? First thing? Is it perfectionism? Like you know what I mean? Like what you know

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

what it is? What is it? And I think it’s for a lot of women, people pleasing is letting people down. I hate letting people down. So

Marie Forleo  

this might be fun for you to experiment with. I don’t do people pleasing, and just have that be your little internal mantra. And here’s how I see that playing out for you. I don’t do people pleasing gives you this space to take a little more grace and a little more, check in with yourself before you commit your time and energy to something. And here’s another bonus time genius tip for you. This is for everyone. And then I want to address what I hear people asking in the audience or resisting because I’ve heard I’ve heard this before. So for you, and for everyone, especially with people pleasing. If you would not be excited to do this thing today or tomorrow, don’t say yes to it. Oftentimes we commit, whether it’s to a speaking engagement showing up on a podcast showing up for someone else. And we’re like, oh, that’s three months into the future. It’s going it’s no problem. My calendar is open, or you know what I mean? That’s six months away, I can tell it’s going to be awesome when I get there. But if your body is not a full body, yes. And if you can’t imagine yourself going for it and doing it joyfully, right now, give yourself a pause and say, Let me think about it. I’m going to need a week or a month or whatever it is before I commit. So I don’t do people pleasing is your way to start to break those neuron connections that you’ve developed over time. And then the little tactic in terms of if somebody makes a request of you, and you wouldn’t be excited to fulfill it tonight or tomorrow. It doesn’t get on your calendar.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Oh my god, that is brilliant. Again, I feel like you may be like listening to my conversations, because the trap I got in in the last couple of years is somebody asks me to do something six months from now. Yes. And it’s a great opportunity. And I’m like, Yes, let’s go do that. And then as we get closer, I’m like, I don’t want to do that. And I actually in this has just been like in the last 1015 years, I realized that if you put all these yeses together, then they all become a no all of a sudden because you’re just like going going going and even though one individual Yes. So it feels incredible if I stack them with all these other yeses now all of them are a no and I’m just dragging myself through all of them.

Marie Forleo  

That’s right. So we’re gonna go there. I want to tie a loop up because this is probably the thing I’ve heard most from we’ve taken 1000s of people through the time genius experience and like in five days, people go from like stressed out and like, again, like I was going like can you please get me off this planet? To Oh my God, I am back. So I’ve made a lot of feedback. One of the things especially with the I don’t statements, people who We’re fans of law of attraction go. But wait, if I say I don’t, aren’t I just attracting it and I’m like, Look, there is actual scientific research behind the I don’t do statement. And I always invite people try it before you deny it. If it doesn’t work for you absolutely leave it if it kind of wars with your own experience of law of attraction, and you don’t like that, totally just leave it. But I have taken 1000s of people through and the I don’t statement, if it does nothing else, it brings awareness to how utterly conditioned we’ve all made ourselves into the world of time stress without even being consciously aware of it. So if you only use it, even like training wheels, just to bring awareness for yourself to create a new narrative, use it there and leave it alone. I just don’t want people dismissing it out of hand. Again, try it before you deny it, just experiment and see if it’s a value to you. Because it has helped 1000s of people, myself included, break some of those deep conditioned realities of living in time stress that I was doing for like a decade, and it was destroying me.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

So before we go into the steps of time, genius, I want to just run a separate scenario that happens to me. Yeah, which is Sunday is my day I go I go to yoga, I go to the farmers market, I cook, I sometimes I’ll sit in the backyard and read a book. And each one of them it’s like my day off. Yes, one day like I give myself permission. But what do you do when you’re when you sit in the backyard, you’re reading a book, and the Add brain is like check your phone, maybe you need to go get up and clean your office, you haven’t cleaned your office would probably be good to do that. Because this week is going to be really crazy. You I’m a big researcher. Oh, you said you were gonna go research that? What do you end like? It’s almost like it’s the Michael singer neurotic roommate. It’s like that not neurotic roommate. That’s like, what are you doing? If there’s so many complexities to that voice inside my head? Yes. Is that where I would pull out? You know, that would be way beyond? Can you have many I don’t state statements like you. People pleasing. That’s something else that I can’t quite figure out? Oh,

Marie Forleo  

absolutely. Well, first of all, you can have as many as you want. Like this is the fun of being a timed genius. One of the things that you embrace, when you embrace the rock, the reality and the paradigm of being a time genius is that you recognize that you’re a time artist. And you have this beautiful canvas. And we show you this, we walk you through this, how you have the canvas of your life, and you get to paint it however you want. It’s not it for me. So you can have five or 10 I don’t statements, if that brings joy to your heart. And it brings awareness to what was previously unconditioned behavior or unconscious behavior, I should say, right, conditioned, you know, beliefs. So in terms of that question, I would actually drill you back, where once we understand that become a time genius is an inside out job. And we start to root out you got to think the roots create the fruits. What does that mean? The roots are our beliefs about ourself in time, and they create the fruits the results of our life. So once we start cleaning up some of those root beliefs around time, and we’re like, oh my god, it’s possible for me to live in his time genius. The next step is about knowing what’s important, so we can ignore what’s not. So Mindy, your question about Sunday’s? Yes, really where I would take you next is I would help you get so crystal clear on what is truly most important to you at this stage and season of your life. And we would get so crystal clear on what this ideal life looks like for you in a day, in a week, in a month in a year. So that when you’re there on Sunday, and you’re relaxing, and you have thoughts about what you could be doing otherwise, if you were so clear on what’s most important to you, if it was a clean office, you’d be like, Oh, that’s going to be joyful, let me go actually do that now because it’s gonna feel great. However, the phone and picking that up to check it. That’s something that I would love to help you break that habit. Because our phones and technology in my estimation, my belief and my experience, are so utterly destructive to our ability to experience peace. And we need to get them out of sight and out of mind. They should not be near us. Because and I’ll tell you this, we’ll get here hopefully in a few minutes. When you resist temptation, it is one of the most destructive things that you can do for your cognitive fuel every single day. So we’ll go here, when each of us wake up. It’s like we have this full tank of cognitive fuel to use throughout our day. And studies show that one of the most important traits for any human to achieve success and fulfillment and happiness in life. It has nothing to do with our IQ. It has nothing to do with our intelligence. It has nothing to do with where we were born or who we grew up with. Do you know what it has to do with willpower? Oh, self control. You want to know one of the number one things that destroys our self control and our willpower, decision making and resisting temptation.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Okay, I am so many thoughts on this.

Marie Forleo  

Okay, I’ll be quiet. Okay, no.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

So, you know, I’ve thought a lot about this, you know, they don’t let the President choose. For right now it’s a him, I’m gonna say him her own own clothing because they have so many big decisions to make. And I’ve thought about that before of like, okay, what am I doing that is unnecessary to decide. But then you know, the women empowerment part of me comes out and is like, well, I can do everything. So I but I saw decision fatigue was what I heard in that it’s a real thing,

Marie Forleo  

it is such a real thing. And again, you’re can try this before you deny it, all of the things that we’re going to talk about and that I’ve, we teach in time genius. It’s like, I’m not coming down here. So I’m Moses from the mountain, I’m saying, here’s things that I’ve tested, here’s the science and the research to back it up. So you can actually see for yourself, and please go try this and see how you feel in your own life. Here’s the big mistake that so many people make in their lives, that drains their cognitive fuel, so that at the end of the day, they’re cranky, they’re snapping at people, you’re not kind, you’re just you can’t resist whatever, like that sugary thing, or the carb filled thing that again, might not be the best for your nutrition might not be the best for your body, you can’t do anything about it, you’re going to behave in ways that are against your own interest when your cognitive fuel tank is empty, or you’re exhausted. So a lot of people do this, they’ll wake up in the morning, and if they are not in their time zone, they are completely reactive. They’re going to look at their phone, they’re gonna get overwhelmed by the DMS by the emails, oh my god, there’s all these fires I have to put out, then they go to, you know, look at their fridge. And like, I don’t know, what should I have today, I don’t even know what I should eat, I’m just going to take something sugary or sweet or whatever it is, and not really fill themselves up. Then they’re playing defense, they’re going into their email, and they’re like, oh, gosh, someone needs me to respond by by six or seven o’clock. You know what, I’m just going to try and get a bunch of these little things done. So I can get some quick wins. So that later in the afternoon, I can write that chapter in my book. Later in the afternoon, I can make that pitch for the new business. Later in the afternoon, I’m going to write down all the things so I can ask my boss for a raise, or do the thing that’s the most important, doing the little things first, which is how most people set up their day, if they set it up at all, is the worst friggin thing you can do. Interesting burning through so much cognitive fuel. And a lot of people do this, tell me if you’ve ever done it, context switching, where you’ve got 30 tabs open, and you’re going between email, Slack text, DMS going back and forth. That cognitive fuel tank that you started out with that nice, like big full tank is now depressing down to zeros down to zero down to zero by one or 2pm. You can’t even think about writing a chapter. You don’t even have the decision fuel. Right? I see you.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Like you’re like living you’re like describing my life, literally. Well,

Marie Forleo  

you’re, you’re amazing. And again, no, I’ve done this too. So this is why I started seeing my own ways. And when I started really digging into the research and the science, and I started really testing it out. And then I started to roll it out and test it with other people. Monday, it was shocking how quickly people had 10 times more energy. I have a woman that actually she was doing five hours worth of work now in two hours a day. Because we’ve just changed just a few little things because she understand how our brain works best. She understood the science and she stopped making silly mistakes that were crushing her. Yep.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Okay, I want to I want to bring two things that where my brain goes with Yes. So first I just want to point out to the women over 40 Is that when we lose acetylcholine when we lose glutamate when we lose BDNF add becomes our natural state of our brain. Like I am somebody who could was like a workhorse I can put in 1012 hours a day of work like full on focus, no break. I could do that in my early 40s and 30s and 20s at 54. I’ve really struggled with that and the Add brain has really kicked in. Yeah, so you’re really onto something for menopausal women. Again, I know you created this for everybody. But I just want the women that are going through perimenopause and menopause to understand that what you just said, is gold. Second thing I want to make sure I don’t lose this thought which is the phone. So yes, what are we? What are the boundaries with the phone?

Marie Forleo  

So well, let me just say this stat because this woke me up. This shocked me and this honestly horrified me when I heard it. Right now. The average American will spend the equivalent of 44 years of their life staring at screens. Now of course this does include your phone, which is where most of us buy our time, but it also includes our computer, our television, our tablets, screens, screen, screen screen screen screens, but for most of us I’ll raise my hand to this If we’re going to actually have the screens have a little bit of battle, my phone gets the most. So just think about that. And for me 44 years of your life staring at a screen, like, that’s not the purpose of your life, that’s not the purpose of your human life, you are meant for so much more. So I think that’s just being sober and cognizant to that, again, the awareness, we can use these tools, but we don’t want them to use us. Okay, let’s drill back to phones. So many of us don’t recognize or realize how our phones specifically are designed to create even more of an add brain, all of the defaults are always set for notifications on for us getting bombarded for us constantly getting rings and pings. Just I think it was two nights ago, I had updated my phone. And Monday because I try my best I’m not perfect, by the way. And by the way, you do not need to be perfect to be a time genius. Again, it is a practice. And we evolved with this. And we have fun with this. And when we fall off the wagon, we go oh, wait, I have a choice, I can go back into the time genius zone, right. So that’s how we roll. But I updated my software. And then I had ordered some food. And all of a sudden there was like a gajillion notifications. I’m like, I got my notification start, I had to go reset everything. Because so one of the things that we need to do is to realize, again, going back to cognitive fuel. We don’t want to resist temptation, we want to completely avoid it. We want to take it off the table, because resisting it decreases our fuel. So how do we avoid it completely? One, take control of your notifications. You do not like 90% of us? We do not need I love that it did that this is like something that I do I? I do I do because it’s a function of when the iOS software got updated. There are certain hand signals that when you don’t turn the default off, this is a perfect example. But we’re taught witchy it does things on its own. So I’ll have to adjust that setting after we’re done. Yeah, just

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

so everybody knows, she as she was talking a big thumbs up came on on my screen. I’ve seen this

Marie Forleo  

and it was totally, which was that’s all creepy, but it is I know exactly what it is. It’s a setting. But what I was gonna say is that, you know, there’s studies that show and they’ve done this, the research has been done, the tests have been done. They’ve had folks do actual cognitive tests, some people have their phone near them, even though it’s turned down, and other people have their phone in a bag in another room. Just having your phone near you where you can see it decreases your IQ, it decreases your ability to solve problems. There is think about it almost like static background noise, it is pulling your attention. There is a silent temptation happening even if consciously you don’t fully recognize it. So one of the most important things that you can do to be in your time genius zone is take that friggin phone, turn off your notifications have them be defaulted to no but when you are in what we call a focus block. And we can talk more about that. You move it out of the room, you eliminate any possibility that it can tempt you. And even if you do this for 45 minutes to an hour, you would be shocked at how much our add brains again, because I have ADHD to how much calmer you feel how much more you get done in less time you reduce and eliminate the context switching that kills our productivity. And that exhausts us. The other thing I want to say because again, I’ve heard people but wait, what if I have children? What if I have an elderly parent that I’m caring for and someone’s in the hospital there, it’s so easy to just toggle a few switches and to allow one call to get through from a particular number. There are just so many ways that you can still stay in your time zone that you can reduce or eliminate distractions or interruptions altogether and still be present still be responsible still check in still be absolutely appropriate to the parts of your life that need attention.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Oh my God, that’s That’s brilliant. It’s brilliant. Okay, so walk us through the steps of time genius because I’ve been I’ve been in the course I’m blown away that I told you like the titles of these videos I’m like yes, I need to know that yes, I need to know that like one of them that I really want you to bring to everybody was the video that you said turning tedious tasks into energy boosters Yes, I was like Oh, I hate tedious tasks. Please tell me how to do that but I but you also have a formula so I want to kind of walk through the formula so everybody can benefit Oh

Marie Forleo  

100% So I’ll walk you through it’s a five part framework that we take you through is the experience and it’s an inside out transformation right because we know this all change begins from the inside out. So again, you don’t have to buy an expensive planners you don’t have to do you know you don’t need new apps you don’t need a bunch of crap. You know what my best planner tools are. I actually have like a simple college ruled notebook and a pen. And you know, a clock like that’s I don’t use anything fancy and it’s worked for me forever. So number ones Tip number one. Principle number one is escaping the world of time stress, we’ve talked about that we have to recognize that it’s an inside job. If we don’t do the inside work yet, first, all of the external tactics, they’re not going to mean jack, nothing will change because your experience will always be that of exhaustion, feeling behind not feeling in control, right? So we have to change the mindset first. Second,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

I can I say, Can I say one thing there because I just want to say what the overscheduled woman would be like, Oh, God, I got, I have so many things to do. Now you got me, I gotta sit down and change my mindset. It’s

Marie Forleo  

so friggin easy. It’s so easy. Oh my god. First of all, it’s easy and fun. There’s a few exercises that we take you through. And again, I created this. And you can if you can give me a bout, like, so five days in a row is how I walk people through it. And about an hour and a half a day. And I can literally give you I’ve gotten some people back between 20 and 70 hours a week, like months and months of their lives. It’s an so and I just want to say this before anyone else thinks like, oh, I don’t have time for this, you can always make more money. Mindy, you’ve proven more than anyone else. Health is something nine times out of 10 we can recover or we can get back from right if we’re still blessed enough to keep breathing like we’ve got a chance. Time is our most valuable non renewable resource. It’s the one thing that we don’t get it back. So we got to be real intelligent, really wise about how we use it so smart. And for me, I want everyone listening, especially high achieving women that we’re talking about that, you know, Peri menopausal menopausal postmenopausal. You can have this be the most joyfully productive chapter of your life, and you do not have to kill yourself to get there, I promise you. So a part of it is, is understanding a little bit of the math, we help you do the math really fast. And we introduced you to some ways that you can change your beliefs really fun, really fast. And it’s all rooted in science. So do not be afraid of it. It’s actually the most fun module and it goes really, really fast. Next, the next principle is know what’s important. So you can ignore what’s not this, to me, Mindy is probably the piece that’s missing from almost everything in the world. All of us think that everything’s important, right? It’s like, it’s all super important, I have to get it on. That’s a false idea. If everything’s important, nothing is important. So we teach you how to clarify. And here’s the key phrase, what is most important to you at this stage and season of your life, because what was most important in your 20s is not the same as your 30s. And it’s not the same as your 40s, or your 50s, or 60s and so on. And so a lot of us have never just stepped stepped back to take the time and say, Well, what is actually most important to me right now? Is it building this new business? Is it getting this project off the ground? Is it getting my health back? Is it spending more time with my family. And here’s the thing, as a multi passionate entrepreneur, I get it, I want to do a lot I want to achieve a lot. But I’ve discovered with my ADHD brain. And the way to be a time genius is not to have 76 priorities at this stage in season my life is to choose a primary project, and I walk people through how to do that, that doesn’t mean that you ignore everything else. But that you’re very, very clear on what is most important for these two weeks, these two months, these six months this year. And when you know what’s most important, it is so much easier to ignore. blissfully ignore what’s not. So we take people through a series of exercises to get some clarity, because for me as a coach for the past 22 years, I’m like, Look, I can help you achieve or experience almost anything you want. But first you have to tell me what that is. And you’d be surprised at how many people are like, I don’t know, like I was

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

just gonna say, Yeah, and I’m also just want to point out that I love what you just said, and it scares the shit out of me. Yes,

Marie Forleo  

it’s scary. Because you know what, we have to keep our options open and we want to do things and then we want to stay in the comfortable place of going but I have too much to do and it can’t get done and behind, which makes us feel like shit. And it makes us feel like we’re constantly falling behind. And we’re never good enough which Guess what? Ding ding ding those are indicators. You’re back in time stress. Not a fun song.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Oh, I love the way you it to me. It’s here’s what it’s like metabolic switching the way that I’ve been teaching fasting, you know, it’s like you, you you there’s a healing that happens when you eat and there’s a healing that happens when you fast and you switch in and out of them. Yes. Now in your situation. I don’t think any healings happening when we’re in time stress,

Marie Forleo  

there’s not but what I do want to say to you to sit to that we talked about this in the program, we have bursts of hustle, we have bursts of hustle. So it’s just like exactly what you’re talking about with metabolic switching, right? There’s times where there’s fasting and there’s times where there’s hormone feasting, so hustling and having intense times, that’s going to help make a strong but there’s a way to do it in which you’re not destroying yourself. And there’s a way to do it that you’re not doing it 24/7 365 For decades on end. Does that make sense? So it would be like your Yeah,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

yeah, it makes total sense. And I like that, you know, that gives me options. Yeah. If I like choose one thing, if there’s a I can burst in with, you know, other projects. That relieves me of having to choose one. Yeah,

Marie Forleo  

and plus, you’re gonna have Things in backup, right? And as you move through your year and as you move through the stage and seasons of your life, like for instance right now I’ll totally transparent there’s a phrase that we talk about calling beat and being in the trenches, when you’re in the trenches. Life is cuckoo pants. And that’s how life is right now, in the middle of a huge renovation. I’m in the six month long health crisis with my parents, God bless them, my mom’s health is failing, she’s in the hospital, my dad’s health is failing. I’m juggling a lot, and I’ve got the business, I have had to consciously Mindy, take some things off my plate. Why? Because I understand that in order to be good to myself, to be able to show up with my team to be able to do the work that I love sustainably over the long term I need to modulate so modulating to your point. And on the flip side, when there’s not tragedy, or hard things happening, but you’re like, Oh, my God, I’ve got a book launch. Oh, my God, I’ve got this. Yeah. How about we have like a two to three month burst of hustle. And then we build in bumpers of recovery on either side, so you can recover? Does that make sense? So I totally makes no rigidity. Nothing about like only one project only what No, no, no, no, there’s so much flexibility in there. But we’re doing this consciously. And we’re in control rather than feeling like we are the victims of circumstance or our own lives. Yes.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

That’s why we call it time. That’s right. I guess realize that Okay, number three, you said there was five things Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. So what’s number three?

Marie Forleo  

So number three is you need to make your success inevitable. So we touched on this a little bit. But there are so many science and research back tools and tips and strategies to really set yourself up, you can’t guarantee it 100%. But you can really do everything possible to make your success inevitable. Let me tell you one of the things I was doing wrong to make my success not inevitable. I remember there was a time when Josh and I were living in California. And I love to get up early, right? Because I know one of the primary my primary creative zone is very early in the morning. I know that about myself. And we’re going to talk about that if we want to talk about ecosystems that thrive. I don’t know if we have enough time. But I would get up and I’d start my work. And I was in the kitchen. And I’m having fun. I have my candle, I’m a coffee, like go and go. And then Josh would walk in a couple hours later, because he sleeps little later than I do. And I would get so pissed. Because he’s interrupting me. I’m like, I’m in the middle of a genius thought, and you’re getting peanut butter and blueberries, and you’re totally screwing me up until I got real and got humble. And like, Marie, what an idiot, are you? Why are you setting yourself up in the communal area? If you don’t want to be disturbed? You need to go to another room? Or you need to take your ass to a coffee shop? Or do you need to let him know that I perform put headphones on, you need to be responsible? Does that make sense? So there’s that and yeah, so the environment, the environment. So we’ll talk about that. But making your success inevitable. There are so many layers where we get to take responsibility, and we get to proactively create the environment that’s going to make us the most likely to succeed. Yeah. Okay,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

and what one thing I want to say on that, that I so appreciate, and one of my messages specifically to women is that when we get overwhelmed, we lash out at everybody around us anger. And then you do Yeah, you deplete our hormones. And now we’re lashing out even more. And I love what you know, I’ve been saying Take back your control. Don’t let your environment pull you out of a state of focus or happiness. But I never that’s as far as I got. Yeah, it just gave me more content. Yeah,

Marie Forleo  

we can go forward and we can actually help everyone listening right now create the context and the environment that’s going to give them the highest likelihood of success. And let me tell you another insight that I think you’re gonna love and your listeners are gonna love. Do you want to know what really is at the root of most overwhelm? What a lack of clarity.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

I thought you’re gonna say lack of, of worthiness, no lack of clarity.

Marie Forleo  

Here’s why it tells me more. Yes, when we are overwhelmed, it means that we don’t know what’s most important. There’s so much coming at us. And we don’t have our priorities clear. We don’t know what is most important, what a second, what is third, and so on. So it is impossible to process all of that. So when we don’t have that clarity, again, I’ve been here a gajillion times when I am not clear on what’s most important in this hour in this day, in this week, in this month, in this stage in season of my life, it is so much easier for me to get overwhelmed and then lash out in anger. I just want to invite people to that because if you wake up every day, and you’re like I don’t know what project to work on, oh my god, there’s seven different things pulling on my attention at once. I guarantee that you don’t have clarity, clarity equals confidence and when you’re confident about what you should be paying attention to and what you shouldn’t it is a lot easier to be compassionate, to communicate with a lot more gentleness and and actually a sense of firmness about hey, I’m not able to tackle that right now. It’s gonna have to go on the back of the list. We’ll get there but not right now.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

I have a good friend who always says to be clear as to be kind. Yeah, and I really love that phrase like when you don’t know what to do and she always says In terms of communication with other people, like if you’re just make sure that you’re clear in your communication, even if it’s what the person doesn’t want to hear, you’re actually That’s kindness. And I think what I hear a new is what you’re saying is to be clear on your priorities is kindness to yourself, and kindness

Marie Forleo  

to the people around you. Because when they barge in saying, hey, I need your attention. It’s like, if someone’s hair on fire, like if someone legitimately and is their health in crisis, if not, I understand it’s important to you. But your emergency is not going to take me off track. And we will deal with this at 330 or four, or whenever, like, I’m going to come back and talk to you and you retain that relationship. For me, I have had so many experiences of barking out at people, you know, talking about the anger. So making your success inevitable, we can break that apart. Number four is training people. That’s the it’s the practices of getting things done joyfully. So let’s say you’re right, you’re in the time genius zone. You know, it’s really important. You’ve made your success inevitable. Now, how do you show up every single day, especially when things don’t go as planned? And how do you get things done, joyfully. And there are actually strategies around that. And I’ll tell you the fifth part of the framework, and then we can go wherever you want with whatever you want to peel apart. The fifth part is, how do you make this consistent, so you can stay in that time genius zone consistently and do that with joy. And you can keep evolving your own process, like one of the things I admire about your work Mindy so much, and I’ve gotten so much out of your book on this, and we’ll talk more when you come on my podcast, is the fact that you’re like, hey, you know, there’s a lot of science to this. And I need you to take responsibility for evolving it yourself. What is your body say? How does your body react to XY and Z. And in a very similar fashion, I invite everyone, I’m like, you have to be your own creative scientist here. I’m going to give you the research. I’m going to give you the best practices, but I want you to take control put on your creative scientists hat, do a test and then see, do you like the strategy? Does it work for you? Are you like, you know what? That one’s not? For me, I’m gonna go pull this one. Let me give that a shot. So how do you stay consistent and keep evolving your own experience of being in the time genius zone as life continues to change as you continue to change as you move into different stages and seasons? Yeah,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

I mean, it’s, it’s, you know, it’s like, to me, it’s like fasting, the first time I learned fasting and metabolic switching, I was like, this makes so much sense. And when I would, when I watched that, how people react to fast like a girl, they say that this makes so much sense. That’s how I feel listening to what you’re saying. I’m like, why, you know, did it take us to 2024 for one human to map this all out for us. And in a way that makes so much sense, because I do feel like we as humans, both men and women, we’re on a collision course with mental health challenges and chronic disease and, and, and unhealthy relationships, because we don’t have a strategy to be able to manage all the things that has been thrown at us. So

Marie Forleo  

yeah, and just to underscore what you’re saying, my personal experience, and and one of the reasons I was so excited to create this, you know, do what I’ve been doing for this long, and being the age that I’m at, like, I remember life, pre social media, and pre notes, right? So there’s this great context point. And sometimes I’m like, Dude, can I go back to like, 1996? Because i right. So I was like, we know, and a lot of the data and the research is showing, you know, technology. And we know this, we know this intuitively, but sometimes we need to hear it. Technology has advanced so fast, but not who we are as human beings and our ability to process information, the amount of inputs coming our way. It’s like our brains and our bodies are not built for the technological environment that we’re in. Now. We don’t want to become victims of that. We want to take control and say notice, we are not going to be at the service of our telephones. We are not going to be at the love. We got stuck. You’re watching the video, we got another thumbs up. It was an automatic thumbs up. That’s why Mindy and I are laughing so hard. That was so good. But the truth is, is that we have to understand we are in control and little tiny steps can make huge differences in how we feel how joyfully productive we are our health, our mental health. It’s everything can change. And it all starts from within. Yeah.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Oh my gosh. Okay. I have two, two ones a comment and what and I have a couple questions. So first, I want to go back to the joy thing, because this is something that’s happened to me a lot on my calendar. I’m in the process of actually writing two books right now. And I have big chunks of writing time. Yeah. And so I you know, I go about my day, I’m like, Okay, from nine to five, I’m going to be writing today and then something hits my brain that stresses me out, probably came from the phone. So and all of a sudden, now I’m blocked in my amygdala. When you’re locked in that part of your brain, the fight or flight brain, you’re not in your prefrontal cortex, right? Somebody stops correct. And so then I’m like, Oh my gosh, I had this whole day to write and I can’t think of a single word to say because you know XY and Z stressed me out you got hijacked. Yeah, I got hijacked. But it’s it’s like, you know, it’s a brain it’s a legit brain hijack correct. So do you do you have strategies in the time genius program? Like what do you do when something hits you? And you need to get back into prefrontal cortex? Yeah,

Marie Forleo  

so there’s a couple of things. One, by the way, I’m so excited to do this with you because your work is so important. And I’m so excited for your books. So when I was actually creating this program, one of the things I want to encourage you to experiment with there, I call them the core four. So there’s a lot of science that goes to this point. And it’s done by a wonderful researcher, I think his name is Eric Anderson, who studied super high performers and experts. And there’s a lot of other studies that have come to support this, that when it comes to super high performance, most of us have about four hours of really intense, awesome possibility to lay down some great work really, yes, I call it the core four. And then of course, we could take a break, we can kind of refuel our tank. But if we’re demanding of our brains and our bodies, especially at this stage and season of life, that we’re supposed to be utterly focused for eight hours in a row nonstop. I believe it’s been my experience and the science also supports this. That is an unrealistic expectation shifts us right back into the time stress world. I’m not enough. I can’t focus enough my brains broken. I’m not doing this right. Whereas Mindy, I would love you to experiment with a core four at a time. That’s really good for you. You don’t look at your phone first. Right? There is no social media. There is no DMS, there is no meetings with your team. Nothing like you go straight into the core for you set yourself up for success. So the phone is not around. There is no notifications, you’re just writing and then you have a small notebook to the side. And here’s what this is a great tactic that I use because again, scroll brain ADHD, all Yeah, yeah. When something comes up. So this is an internal interruption. This is an internal distraction, right? It’s not your partner coming in. It’s not a text. It’s not a DM, it’s actually your own mind interrupting you with a new thought. You place it on that notebook. You write it down. Great, great. When I’m done writing, I’m gonna go tackle this, then you get back into writing. And then Oh, the other thing pops up. Oh, I have to take comer to the vet. Oh, great. Let me write this down. So you don’t lose the thought. But it doesn’t take you off track. Does that make sense? Yeah, and I’ve been doing that that list on my phone. Okay, no more for you no more for you. I am going to send you I’m we’re gonna go to the store, we’re gonna go to the Walmart or Target or whatever. We don’t need to have fanciest journals. I literally, I need a notebook. Like, I need a legal notebook with you and a pen. And that’s it. And that’s you can’t have anything, any other shit up on your screens. Nothing. I’m literally I’m gonna be texting you and checking in with you at the end of your day. We’re gonna do that. So and let’s talk about turning tedious tasks into energy histories. So rule number one, some people might not like that. I’m gonna say this. And a lot of people get really twisted about this. But I’m going to tell you this is rule number one. Only say yes to the things you are willing to do joyfully. This is good for you, Mindy, as a people pleaser. Write it down. I only say yes to the things that you are willing to do to do joyfully. So if people ask you, can you drive me to the airport? And somebody buys like hell no, you got to take a pause and say no, if you’re not willing to do it joyfully don’t say yes at all, you’ll start to break that cycle. Now. My life is not all rainbows and unicorns, all of us got to do shit that we don’t want to do. That’s true for everyone. When that happens, one tactic that’s my favorite, I call it bring the party. So my dad was a small business owner growing up, and oftentimes in order to get a job done, because he always taught me you take really great care of your clients or customers, right? He’d have to work over the weekend. And so it was a printing business. And there were physical things that we could do. So when my brother and my mom and myself, we didn’t want to not be with my dad over the weekend. So what did we do? We all went into the shop. You know, my parents did Monday, they would bring a boombox, they would get us pizza up another thumbs up. But my point is, no, it’s too fun. They would we we basically had this whole thing. We’re listening to Chaka Khan, we’re getting things done, we brought the party so we turned what could have been like a tedious task, like, oh, we have to work on the weekend, and my dad’s not going to be around and we said, screw that shit. We’re going in, we’re doing it together. We’re gonna make it a good time. If you’ve got to clean your house, if you’ve got to clean toilets, can you play your favorite music and dance around when my inbox is out of control Monday and I’m like, I need to clean that up. You know what I do? I actually say, Okay, I set a game clock and I say I’m gonna go at this for like, 30 minutes. I’m gonna do like 10 minutes of clearing out email. Then I’m gonna do 60 seconds of jumping jacks. I’m gonna do another 10 minutes and then I’m gonna do push ups like, does that make sense? So yeah, the way to turn tedious tasks into energy boosters is you gamify it you bring the party and you have total like license however you want to do it in the world. I even teach people the power of like a great childish meltdown, which Talk about this too, because I’m talking Yeah. I like yes have like a five minute tantrum, they feel great. Yeah, about how much you hate all the shit that you got to do, and you let go of that energy. And they’re like, Okay, let’s, let’s, let’s be an adult, and let’s make it happen. So there are a lot of fun tactics and tools to do this. But I think the first principle of only say yes to that which you are willing to do joyfully, is a great resetting and a retraining of your foundation. So again, you break any addictive habits to people pleasing that might have developed over time. Yeah, amazing.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Amazing. Okay, talk a little bit about who the course is for. And I have to tell you that every year I pick one health focus, and like, you know, sometimes like last year this year was like working on my traumas, that’s really fun health focus. Oh,

Marie Forleo  

super fun.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

But really, it was. But I was like, It’s time I need to work on some things that I haven’t dealt with. So yes, you know, so every year I have one thing this year, it is the brain I and I had already decided it before you and I were had this conversation, it was like, What can I do to bring peace back to the brain? So try time genius. I will complete the five days before the end of the year. Yeah. And I will I’m going to implement this in the biggest way. So talk a little bit about who it’s for and how people can find it. Yeah.

Marie Forleo  

So in terms of who it’s for, like, if you are anything like Mindy and I have been talking about whether you are someone who you’re excited, you want to be excited about life, but you’ve been exhausted, you feel like you can’t possibly squeeze any more hours out of the day, you feel like no matter how hard you work, you’re not getting enough done, I had someone who was close to kind of pushing the lever on getting disability insurance and checking out and be like, I’m done, I can’t do this. And she did timed it. She’s like, Oh my god, I have the joy back like I’m back in the game, I feel better than ever. So if you suspect that you’re addicted to your phone, if you never feel like you can rest if your mind, your mental health, your physical health is starting to crumble, and you don’t know why it’s a very high likelihood that time your relationship with it and how you’re managing your time may need an upgrade. And you deserve that. So it doesn’t matter whether you’re an entrepreneur, whether you’re an employee, this is all rooted in science. And the design is so that you can become joyfully productive, whatever that means to you. It’s not my definition, I help you find that for yourself. And so even

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

a stay at home mom, oh, then because that’s a hard job that gets oh my

Marie Forleo  

god, yes, one of the hardest jobs ever. And by the way, you know, I don’t have biological children, I have a stepson who’s an adult. So I remember very, very, very vividly what it was like to try and grow a business and have a little kid and a rotation and all this stuff. So I remember that. But I wanted someone who is a parenting expert, who also lives as a time genius. There’s a whole bonus called time genius for parents. So after you go through the program, there’s a whole additional training from a woman who’s taught at Google and some of the biggest companies about how women specifically can thrive, especially when they have children around and they have all these responsibilities. So I would say it’s for anyone who wants fast results, who wants something that’s rooted in science who likes flexibility? And who likes learning in an environment that’s really fun and action oriented and results oriented? Yeah.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

And what about, you know, I’m even thinking like corporations, like I’m thinking that I’m going to take my whole team through this. We should

Marie Forleo  

our team does it. I’m telling you, there’s some times where if I’m like, I have an ATM, or you’ve got an ATM, and I look on Slack, I’m like, my team’s being timed geniuses right now. So I actually have trained myself to start putting ideas either into email or into different docs, so I don’t disturb them, and take them off track with my squirrely, like, Oh, it’s a brilliant new ideas like, dude, they’re doing the good work, they need to do so. Yes. To teams. Yeah. And then in terms of how people can check it out. I think you’ve got a link in the show notes. You can direct people to it. Yeah. But it’s like, it’s five days, we guarantee the results. So there’s a money back guarantee. Like if you get it in the first day, or like, I don’t like her, she’s whatever, you can get your money back. Like we only want to work with people who we can genuinely serve where there’s great alignment. But we’ve had 1000s of people and the results many like I’ve been teaching for a long time. I have never seen results like this. Like I have psychiatrists who have ADHD who serve people with ADHD. One woman in particular. She’s like, I love Marie. I didn’t know if there was going to be anything new and it completely blew her mind and changed her life. I have another woman No, yeah, it’s just like different. Well, all of us, right? It’s like all of us. We live in a world that pushes us into time stress. It’s like we’re fishing water. So all of us need to support us each other and I still have to I come back and I look stuff and like, oh, yeah, I fell off the wagon. They’re great. Let me get back on. And we make it playful and we make it fun and there’s no punishing and there’s no perfectionism. It is really, you know your life. There’s nothing more important than how you spend your time. It is literally the difference between a life that feels exhausting, and dreadful and tiring and joyless or a life that feels rich and spacious. and meaningful and freedom rich. That’s what you deserve. That’s what you can have. And it’s just a few small ScienceBase tweaks that’ll get you there. So,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

you know, it’s interesting. I know that you were on Steven Bartlett’s podcast Yeah, as well. And in that conversation, it was so thought provoking. And one of the things that he said to me is, well, what should the work week look like for a woman? And I had never been asked that question that was back, you know, that was like eight months ago. Yeah. And I remember thinking, Well, you know, I think hormonally the work week works really well for men, but it doesn’t work well for women. And so we I actually brought that back to my team. And I was like, how do we create a work environment since we are educating about women’s hormones where women empowerment, like, how do we create a work environment that works for women? And so we started thinking about like, could we map it to the cycle, but then we’ve got some postmenopausal women, and it got very complicated. I actually think you solve the problem. Because if you are more efficient with your time, then you have more option for recovery. And that is one of the things that I feel like the feminist movement as I am a feminist, I was raised by a feminist, I strongly feel like we can do everything that we want to do. But we need more rest and recovery than our male counterparts. And I believe you literally just solved that problem. So thank you so much.

Marie Forleo  

Thanks for this conversation. It’s just it’s so exciting. And it’s so fun. And as someone who runs a distributed team, you know, the vast majority of my team, we are spread out all over the country, we have partners in different countries, you know, like we’re in all different time zones. And here’s what’s exciting about time genius is allows each person to operate at their highest levels, right? So they’re in their peak productivity zones. And it’s respectful of communications and boundaries. And it’s just, it’s changed the game. For me personally, it’s changed the game for our team. And now that we’ve had 1000s of people go through it, and like road tested, I’m like, Yep, I’m like, I need to get this in as many hands as possible. Because we can get our we can get our sanity back, we get our freedom back our peace of mind back. And technology is not going to slow down. If anything, it’s going to keep increasing in speed. It’s only getting worse. It’s only getting into strategy now. Correct. And the more that we train ourselves in this mindset, and we train ourselves in these tools, and we support each other, the whole game shifts, then we can take advantage of the advances in technology and not be the victims of it. Yeah,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

amazing. Amazing. Okay, I have to ask you, my my guess the question, I asked everybody, and I’m the I’m really curious what you’re gonna say, Okay, it’s one, what’s your superpower that you bring to the world? I feel like everybody has a few superpowers. But there’s one major superpower that I think every human brings to the world, what’s yours?

Marie Forleo  

I believe that my superpower is actually an energetic shift that happens when I’m with people, either physically or virtually. I love communicating, I love sharing ideas. But I kind of got a download couple years ago that it’s less about the content that I say. And it’s actually more about a vibration not to get too out there with who I love that I would agree. And so I have noticed over the past few decades that one of my superpowers is when I am around and with people, they start to vibrate in their highest possibility, they start to see things that maybe they haven’t said before. And again, it’s I’m not taking credit for that, I just think that my energetic gift, that’s my gift to the world is bringing that energy so that the resonance gets higher people get aligned with what’s true for them. And they go off and create the most miraculous, joyful, creative possibilities that are all them, I take no credit for that. I just, I have the joy in showing up and being with people and seeing them in their highest light. Ah,

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

I absolutely love that, you know, a good friend and I, we years ago, about a decade ago, we just had this beautiful friendship and every time we were together, we could come into the friendship and like we’d be having a bad day. And then when we left, we were feeling so good. And so we started calling it a positive energy exchange. I would be like, Hey, I gotta get with you today. I need a positive energy exchange. And I think it’s true that you can get around people and they amplify your energy. And you definitely do that. i You You nailed your superpower that Ah, all right.

Marie Forleo  

Thank you. Thank you so much. I love that question.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

So we’ll leave all the links in the end how people can hop on the time genius, but I just have to you know, I adore you. I love being in your energy. And I’m just so grateful. Thank you for creating this. I’m so sorry. It had to come out of something difficult, but man does the world need what you’re offering.

Marie Forleo  

Oh, thank you. Thank you for your work I have like when we tax when I get a text from any I’m just like, oh my god, I can’t wait to hear it and listen to it. And thanks for just having this conversation because again, I felt so much shame I felt so broken. You know, it’s all ego stuff, of course. But then when I started to peel back these layers and realize how many people like me were suffering too. I’m like, oh, no, y’all, we got to fix this, we’re gonna create a whole new way. And it’s really fun and it’s personal and it can be individualized and it’s like you get back the power of your time and your energy and your attention and you can use it how ever you wish you can be that type of artists in your own life. So thank you. Thanks for having me on.

Dr. Mindy Pelz  

Thank you, Marie. Thank you so much for joining me in today’s episode, I love bringing thoughtful discussions about all things health to you. If you enjoyed it, we’d love to know about it. So please leave us a review, share it with your friends and let me know what your biggest takeaway is.