The Secret to Building a Thriving Relationship – with Dr. Karyn Gordon

“I do a friendship audit every year because I am careful and specific about who I surround myself with.”

Dr. Karyn Gordon is here so hold onto your seats because you’re in for a treat! Dr. Karyn’s expertise extends into the realms of marriage coaching, business coaching, and she’s the proud holder of one of the top 10 TED Talks of 2022, plus a Wall Street Journal best-selling book titled “The Three Chairs.” But what exactly do those three chairs signify? You’re about to find out!

Dr. Karyn dives deep into the complexities of relationships and seeks answers to the age-old questions: Why are relationships so challenging, and how can we make them smoother? Join Dr. Mindy and Dr. Karyn as the explore this fascinating discussion on relationships, touching on everything from intimate connections to friendships and business dynamics. And stick around right to the end when Dr. Karyn reveals the formula for fostering and attracting successful relationships.

In this podcast, The Secret to Building a Thriving Relationship, we cover:

• Identity Loss during Life Transitions
• Decoding the Three Chairs
• The Essence of Friendship Audits

Identity Loss during Life Transitions

In this episode, join Dr. Karyn and me as we unravel the profound impact of identity loss, spotlighting pivotal life transitions like perimenopause and career changes. In this insightful conversation, I share personal experiences, delving into the emotional challenges women face during these transitions. One key revelation is the shift in roles, resulting in a significant loss of identity. Transitioning through perimenopause and career shifts is like navigating uncharted waters. There’s a tangible loss of identity, a redefinition of self. I’ve found that acknowledging this, sharing experiences, and seeking support are crucial in finding a renewed sense of purpose. We discuss effective strategies for navigating uncertainty and rediscovering purpose amidst life’s changes.

Decoding the Three Chairs

Dr. Karyn introduces the “Three Chairs concept”, providing a lens to understand evolving identities. She explains, “The Three Chairs” concept is a fascinating perspective on identity evolution. It’s like having a compass to navigate the complexities of life transitions. And within the CARDS framework, we discover the keys to emotional intelligence, realizing how these skills become a guiding force in shaping our responses and actions.Together, we explore the CARDS framework—Communication, Attitude, Relationship, Decision Making, and Stress/Emotion Management—an essential guide to enhancing emotional intelligence. Personal reflections intertwine with insights on how these skills shape mindset, influence behavior, and empower individuals to navigate life’s challenges. 

The Essence of Friendship Audits

Dr. Karyn sheds light on the dynamics of relationships, emphasizing the subconscious influence of your preferred chair—left, right, or middle—on attracting specific individuals. She also mentions doing a friendship audit each year and that our preferred chair doesn’t just affect our posture; it shapes our relationships. Friendship audits are about intentional connection—evaluating if the people in your life resonate with your values. Building meaningful relationships is a journey, and having a support network becomes crucial, especially in challenging professional landscapes.

Things I encourage you to reflect on after listening to this episode:

• Reflect on Your Transitions: Consider the pivotal transitions in your life. How have they impacted your sense of identity? What strategies can you implement to navigate these changes more effectively?

• Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence: Explore the CARDS framework and assess your strengths and areas for improvement in communication, attitude, relationship management, decision-making, and stress/emotion management.

• Conduct a Friendship Audit: Reflect on your inner circle. Do your friendships align with your evolving values and journey toward a middle chair mindset? Take the necessary steps to foster authentic connections and support networks.